Media baby

Okay this was an audiobook so does it really count as a Winterson?? Mayhaps… This one wasn’t my favorite because maybe it went over my head. But it certainly made me think. Such an interesting concept. I don’t really like thinking about transness in the similar realm to artificial intelligence and the creation of sex bots. I honestly felt like it was hard for me to get behind the description of transness as something that is similar to the drive of AI (to make a better human). Also, the way that the Ry Shelley views themselves as both genders in some aspects. I guess maybe I just kept feeling like I had to justify myself in comparison to this book and the characters described. I am curious to read the other winterson book that’s just about AI because it really does fascinate me to think about this in the context of the human experience.

Okay guys I’m sorry I literally can’t read anything but Jeanette right now. It’s not my fault! I really did like this one, even though it felt so very corny. I’ll defend her until the day I DIE. This one was all about time and space and the realities that we live in as constructed by the knowledge we have. It felt like maybe it would be a weird love story, but it was actually just more beautiful prose and the way she writes just gets to me. It is so beautiful, thoughtful, and idk !! I need to break free of the shackles she has on me (I won’t). “The probability of separate worlds meeting is very small. The lure of it is immense. We send starships. We fall in love” (25). This quote really does sum up a lot of the book for me, like what are the odds of existing? What does existing even mean? And what does love mean in the face of it? Such beautiful things to think about. Daunting a little too.

Okay blog another Jeanette Winterson and expect more to come (I have like 3 of hers on my to-read list). I really really liked the stories that dealt with grief. Some of the stories were most like traditional ghost stories and I don’t honestly love them. Which is fine. I understand their point in the collection. The No Ghost Ghost Story really made me think about grief and ghosts in just such a beautiful way. Time, grief, love, death, spirituality, all things to really really think about. I think some people in my life would really love this book. Let me know if you want to read my copy!

“Where does the time go when we are done with it?”

I did not love this movie. I screamed in the movie theater. I am not built for body gore or horror or anything adjacent. Ugh I wish I had more thoughts about this except that it was not as freaky as I was told it was going to be, I was scared. I thought it was well done. I was riveted. I was on the edge of my seat. Whatever. I think I’m just too much of a baby to handle this movie.

Holy shit this was the hardest thing I’ve ever read. However, I also devoured this book. I could not pick it down. I think because it felt like if I didn’t read this as fast as possible then I would go another minute without the answers,,, to well,,, maybe life? This book just devastated me… all of the pain … all of the struggle to make sense of gender and sexuality in a really hard world. In obvious ways, the story of Jess Goldberg is really really different from mine. I do not know nearly the struggle that they experienced, and a lot of that is because of timing reasons. (I was born and raised in the 21st century, famously very different from 1949). Despite this, I felt so much kinship with the character, because they are trying to make sense of being different from the norm in so many ways. To grapple with complex understandings of gender and sexuality in relation to both what is true to themselves and to the world around them is really what it's about, right? I think in some ways I went into reading this book really scared. Scared that it would validate what I have thought about myself for a long time, that I am not brave and that my proudness around my queer identity is only a result of support and the time period I was born in. And of course I realize that the conditions of my queerness are so vastly different than the narrator. However, I think what this book forced me to confront is that I am a continued legacy of all of the queer people that came before me and that existing in a way that would make them proud is brave. I also think about how as the narrator gets older the queer community changes and there is so much tension. I hope to be a part of a group of queer people that is expansive and cognizant of history and adaptive to the world’s conditions. I also recognize that maybe the conditions of the narrator could return in some ways, and I hope to channel some bravery. I’m scared of being a man without a past, but I’m also scared of being without a future. When Feinberg wrote this I lost my breath. This is so real and so hard to write about, but I just think that I am grappling with how hard it is to be just really gender queer and this book made me really confront whether I want to transition more because doing this is exhausting or because it is what i need and want. I don’t honestly have an answer. But really really thankful to this book.

Thank you to Hope for this recommendation. It took me like a month to get through because finals was a hellscape. I fear I don’t have that much to say about this book because I did just really enjoy the read. I think the elements of the testimony were interesting and cool. I love that its based on real events but fictionalized enough that Galchen changed the names of the characters. Very creative, but not that profound enough for me to gush here…

GOD- i think i'm in love with a 65 year old woman's brain in such a serious way. I'm literally obsessed with Jeanette Winterson in a deep way. Okay but anyway this particular book took me a minute to like fall in love with because I think that she kind of buries some of the really awesome elements later in the book, which honestly such a power move because now I’m going to re-read and i think a lot of the brilliance will come through earlier in the book. “I’m telling you stories. Trust me” FUCKSSSSSS in the context of this book. Hearts in a literal jar? Removed from Villanelle’s body and kept in the house of her first love. One of the narrators ends up in mental hospital slipping from sanity as he writes. What is real? What is a story? GOD And the fact that its historical fiction makes the book so intriguing. TBH idk that much about napoleon and don’t reallllly care to. But I think that it being situated in this very real context with these elements of fantasy make it just sooo intriguing. Also, I did really think it was going to be a love story between a man and a woman, but instead it WASN’T (sorry spoiler WHATEVER). First of all, let’s gooooo bisexual woman. I love you guys!!! Rep!!! But also I think that it actually is a really interesting that we get a description of passion that is not necessarily rooted 100% in romance. I think that this is a great book for me to have read right now and that’s so beautiful. Liek Henri describes how he begins to hate Napoleon. “I didn’t know what hate felt like, not the hate that comes after love. It’s huge and desperate and it longs to be proved wrong. And every day it’s proved right it grows to be a little bit more monstrous. If the love was passion, the hate will be obsession.” And what is passion? Great question. “In between freezing and melting. In between love and despair. In between fear and sex, passion is.”

“There’s no sense in loving someone you can only wake up to by chance”

“I say I’m in love with her. What does it mean? It means I review my future and past in the light of this feeling. It is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I am suddenly able to read. Wordlessly, she explains me to myself” Which is a crazy thing to say because this is actually unrequited love. Even he acknowledges it later saying that she could never return it and that it showed him ‘the difference between inventing a lover and falling in love” I don’t think he ever fell in love because that is about someone else. Inventing a lover is about you, not someone else.. (this HIT)

“You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play” and “There’s no such thing as limited victory” repeated lines that hit home when you put them in the context of villanelles whole section about the ways that we gamble our hearts and play our passion like a game. “Gambling is not a vice, it’s an expression of our humanness”

Last section is this quote about freedom and where to find it “My friend the priest, for all his worldliness, found his freedom in God, and Patrick found it in a jumbled mind where goblins kept him company. Domino said it was in the present in the moment only that you could be free, rarely, and unexpectedly”

Anyway, I love a book with religious undertones and Jeanette Winterson does it well. I love Jeanette Winterson always tells a great story with some BANGER EFFING LINES. God more ppl need to read her and talk to meeee.

Thank you Georgie for recommending this book that actually is so… very much reminiscent of Boy Parts… but instead of one unreliable narrator… it's like a million unreliable characters all telling their story in a way that makes them so obviously unlikable and actually just not good people. I think it was SUCH an interesting choice to make the one actually really clearly terrible terrible character not have any narration (the Dad, Dennis). I think that Apekina did actually such a good job developing these characters and taking me on such a wild ride. I couldn’t put this book down I actually was ignoring people talking to me so I could finish the last half in one sitting. I love books that interrogate morality in a serious way especially when there isn’t anyone in the right. And this did something interesting where you couldn’t assume anyone was normal because you knew everyone’s thought process and they were all just so… WOW. it questions sympathy, it questions your own beliefs, it makes you question EVERYTHING. Also, its just kind of silly to be able to tell people actually wild plots of the book I am reading/ have read.

This book took me actually 8 million years to finish… not because it was bad necessarily, but because Swarthmore hates love and light and free time. I think that this is definitely was an interesting read. It felt a little like Cypher was trying to be really deep with the story, but kind of like the last book it wasn’t hitting exactly right. Like the paragraphs about love and connection just rung a little hollow for me. Maybe I just needed to be more invested in the characters. And I can accept that I really strung out the book so I lost some of my attachment to the emotional depth of the story. I do think it was in its own right a pretty beautiful concept, although I found myself wanting more of some of the fantastical elements. I wish that the world building was a little more clear, but maybe that’s not the point. I loved the interwoven stories and yes! I am happy to have finished a book for fun at swarthmore college and I am happy to have shared this book with my mom and that we are going to book club about it more. Maybe I will update this after our bookclub next week :)

This book was hyped up so much to me by like every book store. And I really wanted to like it. I did in fact want it to change my life. However, it did not. I liked it. I was invested I guess, but I didn’t feel as though it was the best book for me. I can totally get how this could be really perfect for someone else, but just not me. And I love corny stuff, I LOVE CORNINESS. So I’m really confused as to why I didn’t love this. I think maybe just because it wasn’t that human? Like it was talking about human stuff and making human references, but I really just love things that aren’t that fantastical. It feels hard to grab really big feelings that aren’t grounded in real reality. Not to say you should not read this book, if you like corniness and fantastical writing, sure!!! It’s probably a good intro into fantasy too, just not for me.

See,,, Jeanette Winterson the WOMAN THAT YOU ARE… I love her meanderings, her ponderings, her thoughts. This is also just a deeply moving book that definitely had me on the verge several times. It’s a memoir and gives more insight into Winterson’s life that she wrote a semi-autobiographical retelling of in Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit (a book I have read, but not reviewed here, maybe one day). I just love the way she writes, it always makes me FEEL. And I love the way she bends fact and fiction with oranges and names some of that in Why Be Happy. She first recounts her life with adopted mother, then briefly goes through adulthood and how she came to find her birth mother. She goes through her relationship with love and what it means, to her, to love. I think her musings on love always make me rethink the way I think about love. That is what Written on the Body is all about for me. Jeanette Winterson and I have led such incredibly different lives but somehow the way she writes about love just gets me. She also talks about home! How books provide a home, how literature guides her. I think this book might just inspire me to read a lot more. I LOVE HER. I love her ramblings that come to be so cohesive not through plot but creating a real sense of her. GOD.

OMG MORE BOOKS WITH BIBLE QUOTE TITLES. NEED. The bible has brought a lot of bad, a lot of good, but mostly some absolute BANGER lines. That’s why I picked up this book. I don’t even know the bible like that, but its got a banger title and then its a bible quote you know the book is gonna be interesting. And it really was ! Score!! The book is all dialogue so it moves quickly- finished the book in just a couple of sit down sessions (which is a WIP for me because #attention). I think similar to Seasons of Migration to the North, this book leaves me with no answers, but lots of questions. It’s one of those books where the politics are so on the nose, but then when you get into it’s does kind of make you wonder (not necessarily think, but wonder). Like why did the author do this and what does it all mean. The book doesn’t say anything new, but it does make you wonder about how to grapple with the protagonist who is saying things that make sense but going against all sensible rationale . He IS right, but kidnapping IS wrong. So what do we do with that? Does it further his points, I think a simple read of the book would say no, but really it does. He has some misses, but also he also has his finger on the pulse. What else could that do but drive you insane? I think more people should read this and talk to me about it

I really liked this book, mostly because I enjoyed the writing of it. I thought it was super interesting. It took me a minute to get back into after I started reading it first like a year ago. The obvious themes of the impact of British colonialism and resistance (or not) were really intriguing. I think I need to reread it, because I don’t know if I was reading it as critically as I could have been. I am really interested to understand more about the dynamics of the social and local organizing of the Sudanese people. The character Mahjoub and others REALLY fascinates me, especially when he is compared and so close to Mustafa. Okay but getting too into the weeds. I think this book feels more like an interesting contemplative book rather than one that has you riveted by plot. Which is okay!!! It’s just the truth. I had to be in the right mood to think and then I could appreciate the book

This book is quite possible and probably my favorite book that I have ever read. I love it so much because it’s like so corny and cliche but that’s kind of the whole point. I have been wanting to write down my thoughts on this book for a minute. I really appreciate this book because it honestly just made me think about love in super interesting ways. When I tell people about this book I say that I read it when I was falling in love for the first time and it resonated so deeply with me. The irrationality of love is depicted brilliantly. I think I have an affinity for hyperbolic depictions of emotions because that’s honestly how I feel. I am a dramatic mothereffer so when Winterson describes this ridiculous way of experiencing love that is all consuming, I FELT that. The book is half about falling in love and half about loss. What it feels like to grieve a partner. The first time I read it felt thrilling, to know that what I was risking was epic and intense. The second (well technically third) time I read it, I was actively experiencing this sense of loss. I think that it complicated the reading a lot. I think that Winterson plays with what it feels like to feel loss in your body. That love and loss are corporeal experiences. It hurts to love and it hurts to lose. Those are embodied sensations, ones that you often share in love and are ripped apart from during loss.I don’t want to spoil the ending too much in case you want to read it , but I think that it offers a grounding to me that intensity settles. Whether its love or whether its loss, I find comfort in this depiction that I won’t have to exist in cliches for the rest of my life. I just love the way Winterson plays with these cliches and their existence. In one way validating them and in another making it clear that the language that is classically and poetically associated with love is a little ridiculous. I don’t honestly think that this makes sense without having read the book, so you should read it and let’s talk about it!

I just finished this series. It was spectacular. A rare win for Trel watching good television. I was always a little shocked by the raw sex scenes but other than that I have no notes. I think Issa Rae does a great job of just being like yeah life is real and it can be super awkward. Very few shows do that for me. Like I get you Issa, it’s hard and so weird. I really appreciated that aspect of the series. When I hadn’t heard of this show but people were talking about it, they were always talking about the love triangle at the end. HOMIES WHAT LOVE TRIANGLE??? Like Nathan was never that serious for me. I think maybe if I watch it again I’ll see more of Lawrence’s flaws. But honestly I don’t see themmmm. Like yeah he’s imperfect and gets chlamydia, but I think he treated the original break up with respect. Like yeah he’s not gonna stay after he gets cheated on. I’m soooo anti-cheating but that’s just me. He just seems like a good guy and clearly he and Issa have such good chemistry. And that good like could be friends too chemistry which is more than what you can say about Nathan.
Every time Molly and Issa fought it actually made the show deeply hard to watch. Like i love their friendship so bad. Like that’s real stuff. I love them and I was more invested in them than I was in either of their relationships. Literally just no way. Each of them fucked up but its like forgive and forgettttttt. All around great great show. Would def watch again.

Okay guys I just reread this for the like I don’t even know anymore. I might honestly make an Elizabeth Holmes shrine in my Things I Love tab because like. My hyperfixation when I was 18 went WILD. This book I think does such a good job of really getting inside her head. I reference the part about her wanting to be a billionaire and saying that the president would marry her because she was a billionaire when she was a little kid all the effing time. This book has deeply imprinted on my brain. Elizabeth Holmes is truly the blueprint because she just charisma’d her way to having HENRY KISSINGER (and other war criminals) be genuinely her little bitch. It’s quite obvious from the start of this book that her tech makes no sense, but she truly went on for over a decade. She fooled WALGREENS?? Like make that make sense. Fear tactics will get you a long way I guess. I truly am so glad I don’t work in tech because what if you’re working at a company that you think is gonna help millions of people but in reality you are putting people into danger etc. That honestly feels like what happens most of the time in tech. This is a whole nother world. I just am so deeply unfamiliar and I think that Carreyrou does a really good job of developing the story. Highly recommend this read.

Alien (1979): This movie is a CLASSIC (says Alex and friends). The best part of the movie was when Madeline interrupted and said that they had to edit Ripley’s bush out frame by frame. I am not that much of a hater actually, I just,, dont like gore or scary things and this movie had blood and scary things. Sooooo,,, its really not my fault. It was fun to watch a #throwback like thats cool I guess. And I think if this was 1979 and I was watching this for the first time I’d be like wow!! But I was born in 2002 and this movie was really strange to me. Also, I am so sorry but i wouldn’t go back for a cat!! Maybe that makes me a monster but if an alien was attacking my ship,, and the ship could go back to the earth and destroy EVERYONE… I simply would leave the cat!!!! But whatever. Also this movie made me realize that I do not have that curiosity gene. Like i wouldn’t do all that. It’s just not for me.

Here are my thoughts on the movie Challengers. I LOVED this movie. To be fair I tend not to be a hater. But how could i possibly hate when it is literally zendaya and two twinks. I loved the way the movie was shot. Also, here’s the thing everyone wants me to pick a side. Art or Patrick. I can’t do that because I am Art but Patrick is awesome. Like it would be a total betrayal for me to pretend that when Art said “can you hold me tonight” i didn’t resonateeeee. Because that is me… but patrick is also just sooo intriguing. Mostly, because that is not my vibe at all. Okay also no offense but Tashi is literally so rachel berry coded. Like she’s so annoying and will do anything to get her \goal. She is obsessed with her talent and she cannot let it go. God like imagine if the laryngitis episode was real??? Like if rachel hadn’t been able to sing after. She would have been an entirely different person, Tashi… But this isn’t about Glee. this is about challengers. Good ass movie. I also thought there would be more gay sex… but maybe that tension… the edging was even better. I don’t have a lot of critical thoughts other than I am Art, Art is me… Patrick is an awesome and if he were ever a real in person in my life I’d have a fit… Tashi is really a lot… I could maybe be best friends w her, and I could date in a toxic way…